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I’ve been giving some thought to how we connect with each other in the online space and after a recent offline exchange saw how easy it is to be a digital citizen who puts on the airs of knowledge in the space by being one of those folks who perpetually retweets the findings, thoughts and beliefs of other people but in person, demonstrates that they rely on the thoughts of others to prop up their identity.

I’m not trying to be a downer here. I’m not looking to call anyone out. I’m just hoping to spark a discussion or gather some thoughts from others who may have experienced this too.

The thinking behind this post might get back to my previous post on Identity Camp and how we self promote and connect online. It also might go back to my participation in communities during my “formative years” and how fearful I was of being stuck with the tag of ‘poser’. It was the ultimate diss for a skaterat to hear that word.

Authenticity is the currency of the web. It’s how we share, connect and express ourselves. Take a look at your digital presence and evaluate where you’re at.

Do you have a website? Is it listed in your Twitter bio? Do you still track analytics on your personal site or has this gone by the wayside?

Are you commenting on other people’s blogs? Are you as active as you once were or are you now spending all your time with the blue bird of Twitter?

Are you still blogging and displaying thought leadership or are you spending your time MilliVanilli-ing it up and retweeting everything that sounds remotely interesting as a link? (-50 points if you don’t bother to open the link before retweeting it and folks see that it’s obvious you didn’t read it in the first place).

One of my favourite bloggers is Gwen Bell. Sure her tweets are engaging, but it’s her blog that really gives me food for thought. Much more than 140 characters could ever lead me to. Same is true with Julian Smith and Chris Brogan. What these folks are doing is contributing to the ecosystem and bringing new perspectives and ideas to the table.

Sharing is caring.

You can re-live the event by checking out this presentation by Sébastien Paquet that speaks to identity, weirdness and transparancy of that weirdness. As someone who considers themself kind of weird, I appreciate his take on how to find others that share your interests to help to build a community.

Chris Brogan

The book lays out advice for those both novice and pro as to how they can cultivate genuine relationships that matter without being a jerk and without focusing on an immediate return. We’ve all encountered those people in our lives that were more interested in out rolodexes or referrals than in making a true connection with us. There’s a reason why these folks stand out and it’s because things just don’t work this way anymore.

I remember an exchange with someone who had this slant to their personality and noticed the reaction in the room that this person received when they thrust out their paper flyer promoting their seminar to the room. No introduction. No “Hi. How are you?” Just a silent exchange promoting their seminar ON HOW TO DEVELOP BUSINESS SKILLS!!! Oh the irony.

Back to the book. There’s something for everyone within the pages of “Trust Agents” – a bit of game theory, discussions of businesses that either get it or those who display old views of how to interact with their customers, lots of social psychology and mention of many web 2.0 tools and many references to community. The recommendations that the authors make are solid and really cut through the plethora of messages guaranteeing huge numbers of followers on Twitter.

Ultimately, this book is a reality check and could also be used as a vaccine preventing you from becoming a social media snake oil salesperson.

I’ll let this reading from “Marketing Masterpiece Theatre” give you a sample of what is between the covers of “Trust Agents” albeit in a very dramatic “Oh the Humanity” kind of way!

In Buddhism, there is mention of people who are able to manifest ‘the authentic self’.

When you meet these people, you instantly feel connected. You feel like they are truly listening to you and that there is some kind of energy about them that breathes a bit more into your encounter with them. Not to get all mystical on you dear blog reader – but I had this kind of flash today when I was listening to a podcast. I felt like I was as much of the podcaster’s story as the energy behind the tales had me completely riveted.

I’m thankful that in this day and age, more that ever, we have the ability to be exposed for more ideas and more authentic selves.

I do give a damm about my reputation Joan. During a meeting today, I was hooting on about the power of community and positive connections made thorugh social media and it kept getting back to reputation. How are you regarded within your community? Are you seen as someone who plays fair, who values real exchange or are you a pusher or taker – someone who just pushes their messages to others without any thought to the utility or purpose involved?

Consider your reputation. Ask others what their perceptions of you are. Sometimes the answers may be shocking – but are most beneficial. Examine your voice. Do you sound like a know-it-all or are you truly engaging and kind? SEO is important but I also believe in taking a Self Examination Overview (SEO for those concerned with their reputation).

Check to see:

• How many comments you leave and receive in the blogosphere?
• How often you mention the words ‘sharing’, ‘community’, ‘help’ in your daily vernacular.
• How much you listen rather than speak.
• How often do you smile or giggle?

If you’re not laughing or smiling often enough, then you are either taking yourself too seriously or have too much of an emphasis on the “I” in ‘social’.  Kind of anti-social isn’t it?

I carefully examine how many times in my memory I’ve asked the question ‘Why are you saying what you are saying?”

There is the obvious times we make this statement such as during an argument with a loved one (or those not so loved!) but how often are we asking this question of ourselves online? How many of us are pausing to reflect on what we are putting out into the digital realm?

What are you saying? Why are you saying it? Is your life passion in what you are writing about or are you looking for ego-satisfaction, money, validation, job security, more clients? All of this is OK, we’re human…  but it’s important to be transparent to others with who you are and what you are seeking to gain.

Many of us are proclaiming to be ‘social media experts’, ‘thought leaders’ or ‘subject matter specialists but the truth is that now more than ever we are all experts, leaders and experts. The playing field is level and it couldn’t be more exciting than this.

Why am I saying this? Because it’s easy to get caught up in wanting to be a social media rockstar with a zillion ‘friends’ on Twitter, Facebook et al. It’s easy to feel that we don’t measure up in that our blog posts are boring, dumb or navel-gazing chatter.

I’ve been there…

The advice I give to myself is to not to get caught up in it all. Life is way to short and my epitaph isn’t going to be a digital feed of my past Twits/Facebook statuses or a recap of the number of friends I had on the various social networks. This isn’t the legacy we leave behind to our friends and family.

Why the mention of this transparency? I just finished reading a blog post from FreshNetworks blog about Virgin Atlantic firing 13 staff members for discussions around safety standards and “generally bringing the company into disrepute” and was quite amazed that companies are engaging in this kind of behaviour in this digital age. Rather than be proactive and work to address the concerns of their staff and remedy the situation, Virgin Atlantic chose to shut them down and close the conversation. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that Facebook was the best channel for this conversation to happen but I am concerned that there aren’t enough vehicles for submitting employee feedback to companies without fear of reprimand.

I had been fortunate to hear the former Head of Innovation and Process Design at the Royal Bank, Dr Anita Sands speak about the initiatives to bring transparency and feedback to their organization. This gives me hope that there are organizations that are understanding that conversations don’t end when someone says something we don’t want to hear. This is where they begin.

If anyone knows of other companies which are tuned in and transparent, please share them with me in the comments section.