At a young age we learn that we need to share. For me, it was the big box of Crayons which helped me to see that you can make good friends with wax, candy and wax that tastes like candy.  You know I’m talking about you big red wax candy lips…

I’m a natural-born over-extender with Type A syndrome. I take on too much and over the past year have made a conscious effort not to spread myself too thin on projects, be they my personal ones or those of others. Sharing ‘the weight’ has been invaluable for me as knowing that I can help to empower someone makes community participation all the more rewarding. It’s really no biggie to do and I’m still far from being a good sharing citizen, but I’m getting better at it.

Share ‘the weight’. I’d love to hear your stories about how offloading has helped you or your organization.

Sometimes you need a does of truthiness. I’ve read a few blog posts over the past day that made me pleased to see the gospel of truthiness being spread.

The first post was from Blaise Grimes-Viort on the topic of “Why Community Management is Still Misunderstood” and is a must read for anyone thinking of hiring for this position or those who are considering this as part of their career path. It’s funny because later that evening, I read a post titled “Your First Marketing Hire” which comes from a startup-oriented CFO which I weighed in a bit on and then was met this morning again with Blaise’s post on “Your Community Manager is not a glorified marketeer: Value trust” which further demonstrates:

A) Businesses don’t really understand the role of the Community Manager

B) Some businesses want a Community Manager/Marketing hybrid

C) Some Community Managers can or want to do both

D) Some Community Managers can’t or don’t want to do both

All in all, I think that there’s some level of truthiness that has to occur. Businesses have to be honest with themselves and determine if they are looking for a marketer, social media expert or community manager and those who practice these disciplines need to be honest as to what kind of results they can deliver.

I’ve been brutally honest before with one previous position where I had said point blank, “You don’t need a Community Manager” when their needs were obviously more towards advertising sales and management. I’d prefer to be let go from a job than to try to deliver an expectation that is little more than a pipe dream.

The second bit of truthiness comes from a blog post by Rachel Happe on The Community Roundtable’s blog titled “Avoiding the Community Clique” and takes me into Glee territory (yes I watch it, don’t be a hater).

Rachel speaks of the problem of exclusion that can come about in a community when it’s members have their own shared stories and experiences, leading to newbies feeling like outsiders. Much the same feeling as a slushie facial in a high school hallway, as depicted to the left.

The post speaks to many techniques that can be used to help communities ‘keep it real’ and many of these I would encourage my fellow members of the Montreal Girl Geek Dinners to adopt in extending the pleasures of our group to those who have recently joined in. With the more manageable events, I do my best to welcome everyone to the events and to speak to each person who makes it out. As I drone on about all the time, I was a teenage outcast so I know all too well how it feels to be left out and the MTL GGD group is my way to make sure that everyone feels like they have a place at the table.

A very wise dude tweeted this about a week ago and I made sure to save this advice. Very applicable to community participation. Try it.

I’ve always found t-shirts fascinating, as they give a glimpse inside the identity of the wearer. Many conversations have started on the basis of finding someone in a crowd who shares the same interest as I do. I guess you can think of them as the Twitter of the fabric world.

Yup. This one is on my list. Kinda speaks to how I feel.

It’s been a tough road in balancing my online life. I manage 3 twitter accounts and 3 blogs, take Buddhist classes, run the Girl Geek Dinners, coordinate Buddhist events, connect communities and am trying to negotiate what my next career move will be. Unemployment is a bitch but it’s helped me to put a lot into perspective.

These days I’m reworking my participation and consumption in the online sphere. I’m looking to bring back a balance in my life and reduce my digital dependence. As a Buddhist, I’m encouraged to evaluate what’s going on in my mind and examine feelings, attachments and emotions. I’m not doing this effectively these days and it’s time for me to start to cultivate these practices. I thank sites such as The Mindfulist and Zen Habits for being great supports on the path.

Many thanks to the fine folks at Studio XX and the National Film Board for collaborating to deliver a top-notch series of speakers as part of their First Person Digital program. I was fortunate to have captured two of the sessions and felt compelled to post about the last one in the series which featured a virtual presentation by Free Range Studio’s Executive Producer Erica Priggen on the topic of “Creating Content For Change”.

Free Range Studios, are an award-winning creative agency that builds campaigns for social change, many which I’m sure you’re quite familar with such as The Meatrix series and The Story of Stuff. I can’t emphasize enough how they are living my dream of encouraging social change and action via creative efforts. Do check out the “Resources” section on their website for valuable information related to online promotion for social change.

I get chills. Chills from excitement. Excitement at seeing a group be able to elicit positive actions in society.

Erica gave a spirited presentation which hinged on the power of storytelling to encourage social change. She recounted that “We don’t see the world, we see stories. This is our filter.”

I think my main takeaway from the session was that rather than use the traditional fear-based method of screaming “The Sky is Falling and we’re all $%$%-ed” so take action on issue XYZ, she suggested taking a more humorous approach featuring archetypes such as the hero, villain, nemesis and so on. Erica recommended that it’s worth “showing the world you want to see.” It’s much easier to identify with what is presented to us than statistics and hornblowing. She made the point that “it’s hard to motivate people to take action on what they can’t directly perceive.”

Erica noted that it’s important to evaluate the moving issues and values to get people excited about and examine what meaningful action you are seeking to encourage. At the end of each story, consider what the catalyst for action is. This is the core of edutainment and the narrowcast model that the internet presents us with in that we are all co-creators.

Mention was made to how to make stories viral and Erica took the group through the DIY process around storytelling and the manner in which they spread the word about the successful “The Story of Stuff” campaign. I’d say it’s successful in that it’s become a movement for change, rather than just another viral campaign that slipped into obscurity.

It’s heartening to be able to hear the stories of those who are leading the charge and as Free Range Studio’s tagline asserts “Creativity with a Conscience.” These are the stories often overlooked in our society but they are essential to our very survival.

Whoa. I got a bit heavy on you there. Here’s some levity, with a message.

Quebec web personalities unite to provide help to those in need.

Now in its second year, La Guignolée des médias numériques et médias sociaux is ramping up to collect funds for numerous local charities. A group of local social media personalities have collaborated to develop a website where people could easily donate money to help others during this time of need.

The following charities will benefit from the money raised from this holiday campaign:

Please help to promote the Guignolée des médias numériques et médias sociaux by publishing their banner on your blog(s) and online profiles. Encourage your friends to do the same! Display a banner on your blog

Great job goes out to the organizers! Thanks for this initiative

While going through my growing RSS folders, I came across a blog post from the Shambhala Sun (a very smart Buddhist oriented publication), which spoke of a session at the recent TEDIndia conference given by Sunitha Krishnan, the founder of Prajwala India. Prajwala is an non-governmental organization in Hyderabad, India, opposed to forced prostitution and sex trafficking and focuses its energies on prevention, readaptation, rehabilitation and healing.

Below is a recount by author, teacher and translator Tyler Dewar of what occurred after the talk that Sunitha Krishnan had given and the remarkable compassion that snowballed throughtout the community.

Sunitha Krishnan brought the house down in Mysore today. And by that, I mean that she broke hearts and moved people to action. The audience listened painfully to some of the stories of the more than 3,200 girls she has rescued, girls who had endured unimaginable torture and yet, somehow, nevertheless found the will to heal and thrive. She spoke of the need for everyone to overcome silence about the phenomenon of human trafficking, the modern form of slavery, and for us not only to offer our love and compassion to its victims, but to be willing to accept them in our communities. She admitted that rescuing girls is never a very safe business, sharing that she can no longer hear out of her right ear, and that she has been beaten up during interventions more than a dozen times. Her strong voice and powerful body language ensured that no one could claim to have misunderstood her points.

During her post-presentation interview with TEDIndia’s co-host, Lakshmi Pratury, Ms. Krishnan had just finished describing a wish for Prajwala to have permanent property to establish its headquarters in India (due to social stigmatization, Prajwala is charged extraordinarily high rent for office and work space). At that moment, a woman (whose name I will try to report here when I find it) called out from the audience, “Excuse me. I’d like to give ten thousand [US] dollars. Could I please have eight other hands of people who will also give ten thousand dollars?” Several hands sprung to the air within seconds. Ms. Pratury, later in the day, would also report that Google had pledged to offer employment to some of Ms. Krishnan’s rescuees, and that at least $100,000 in donations to Prajwala had been pledged.

To read the full article, visit the Shambhala Sun blog.

Chris Brogan

The book lays out advice for those both novice and pro as to how they can cultivate genuine relationships that matter without being a jerk and without focusing on an immediate return. We’ve all encountered those people in our lives that were more interested in out rolodexes or referrals than in making a true connection with us. There’s a reason why these folks stand out and it’s because things just don’t work this way anymore.

I remember an exchange with someone who had this slant to their personality and noticed the reaction in the room that this person received when they thrust out their paper flyer promoting their seminar to the room. No introduction. No “Hi. How are you?” Just a silent exchange promoting their seminar ON HOW TO DEVELOP BUSINESS SKILLS!!! Oh the irony.

Back to the book. There’s something for everyone within the pages of “Trust Agents” – a bit of game theory, discussions of businesses that either get it or those who display old views of how to interact with their customers, lots of social psychology and mention of many web 2.0 tools and many references to community. The recommendations that the authors make are solid and really cut through the plethora of messages guaranteeing huge numbers of followers on Twitter.

Ultimately, this book is a reality check and could also be used as a vaccine preventing you from becoming a social media snake oil salesperson.

I’ll let this reading from “Marketing Masterpiece Theatre” give you a sample of what is between the covers of “Trust Agents” albeit in a very dramatic “Oh the Humanity” kind of way!

Celebrant Lea Meneghel from My Dream Wedding made the planning of our ceremony easy and could very well have written the book “Wedding Ceremonies for Dummies”. We had read a feature about this Montreal-based business and noted their focus on inclusiveness as well was their flexibility and openness.

Rachel at Brazen Design is a mistress of bling and put her blood, sweat and tears into our custom designed rings. They really weren’t the easiest of designs to complete so we value and appreciate all of her hard work at creating rings that are so very special to us. Beyond the rings, her attention to keeping us posted on our fitting times and adjustments shows how customer-centric Rachel is and that this girl truly knows how to satisfy her customers. These rings warrant fist bumps…

The team at Terrafolia Flowers were able to create arrangements that not only matched our “purple, goth-punk, they’re finally getting married, we’re not the traditional type” attitude but that caused much conversation with our guests.

Black calla lillies are my new favourite flower thanks to Terrafolia Flowers- it’s a flower that is beautiful, mysterious and moody and looks like it should be wearing a long gown and smoking a cigarette from a long glam cigarette holder. Their service was supreme and the fact that they are truly floral artisans really did show through.

My non-traditional, non-white wedding dress was from a shop based out of Ontario by the name of Gloomth.

To fit my frame, there were some adjustments that needed to be made and Taeden was a pro at seeing this through. Her clothing is so well made and her designs are creative, innovative and have a gothic fairytale feel to them. It was the perfect outfit and each time I wear this dress in the future, I’ll think of this magical day spent with friends and family.

We ordered our invites from Botanical Paperworks who make well-designed eco-friendly paper products containing seeds allowing them to be planted after the event.

It’s interesting that the design we chose bears a resemblance to a special social bird but we didn’t stick to 140 characters for our invite copy!

So back to the inital post that kicked off this flurry of writing on a topic that I thought I’d never be writing  in such detail. Weddings truly are a grand expression of community. It’s easy to lose sight of this when you’re neck deep in the planning, but when you look back on the results, it’s well worth it. I’ve made some lifelong business contacts who I will now shop from for life and will recommend to others wholeheartedly, without hesitation.

Sheesh. I make weddings sound so romantic huh!

Zero 8 was the scene of the crime where the deed was done. It’s a Montreal-based allergy-friendly restaurant that delivered on taste and service. Everyone was so impressed with their dishes and some were struck by the magnitude of the cote de bouef which was compared to that as seen in The Flintstones.

The meatness

It’s no easy feat to feed a crowd of folks well, provide exceptional service and allow the bride and groom to play some pretty loud punk rock towards the end of the evening. The team at Zero 8 went above and beyond in providing us with a memorable occasion and left our guests convinced that this restaurant is well worth returning to again in the future.

The drinkness

The decor of the restaurant is very zen (a complement I don’t give out that often and reserve mainly for zen centres!) and features a bar area that is a giant ‘Z’ which could have been made by a woodsmith version of Zorro.

The Z-ness

The kitchen overlooks the space, but didn’t interfere with the activites in the main dining room, but allowed us to peek in just enough to see what the cooking team were up to.

Menu-wise, we chose to have a mix of dishes to ensure that there was something for everyone. Starters consisted of an endive salad that introduced a new love affair for endives for many of our guests, a warm mushroom and artichoke cassolet and a carrot ginger soup.

Mains were the aforementioned monsterbeef, duck confit and a veggie pesto corn pasta dish which alarmed those who had it without being privvy to it being known that it was corn and not wheat pasta.

Dessert was an orange rice pudding. Now don’t turn up your nose. My description isn’t doing it justice as it was far more complex that I’m making it out to be. I’ll let this photo do the talking.

The team at Zero 8 were fabulous and truly understand that customer service and exceptional food are essential to a restaurant. We noticed that they tucked away a card for us signed on behalf of their staffers congratulating us on our marriage and served us up some champagne on the house as thanks for booking with them.

To close out this rather long post, please drop by Zero 8 if you are in the St. Denis zone and try them out, or be sure to recommend them to any of your allergic friends or those with kidlets with food allergies. It’s important to support local businesses and especially those that are doing such good in the allergy friendly community. I recently watched a news report where a woman was there having a birthday meal with friends and she raised her glass in toast to all of the other folks in the room who also had allergies. Now talk about inclusion.

*****All photos by Taran Matharu

I just recently got hitched a few weeks ago and I’m still getting used to checking off ‘married’ in any forms that I fill out. It just feels so foreign but not in a wrong way. Just in that kind of way when you take on a new role and you set up your sig file.

How romantic.

Speaking to the romantic in me, I had made a vow to myself to keep my grubby hands from posting Tweets about my wedding every 5 minutes. As tempting as it was to share every single heart-bursting, teary-vowed moment, being in the moment with friends and loved ones (as well as the new mister) was more important to me than I could sum up in any 140 character blurb.

OK. So I did check my Twitter feed during supper. And I did tweet once…Proof to the social web that the deed was done.

And it was a pretty good sign that the next day, I had the following tweet..

Beyond all of this lack of tweeting, webstreaming, powerpoint presenting or flickrering up the whole event, getting married really illustrates the power of community. Bringing people together to meet, reconnect and get to know new faces really does illustrate how community is at the center of getting married. I could really have titled the ceremony WedCamp!

Working with some great folks in putting together the wedding ceremony was another area where I got to see some big-heartedness in action. It’s been amazing to work with exceptional folks who provided top notch service, products and helped me to pull off the biggest of any event that I’ve ever put together.

It’s important for me to give thanks to these folks and to also help others discover some great people who have gone above and beyond in helping me out. I can’t thank them enough.

Taran Matharu was our photographer and he was a true professional. He knew how to work our room and brought out the best in everyone. He definately wasn’t one of those annoying wedding photographers that would constantly stick their camera in the faces of the guests. He was a chameloen and fit in perfectly with our family and guests. Taran is highly recommended. I’ll be sure to post some photos soon enough… but here’s one for now.

Part 2 of this post will follow shortly. I started writing it and realized it’s turning into a monster post!